Friday, 27 May 2016

My Short Story

Short story

For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to:  
  • use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
  • use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses)

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my punctuation goal

My Story...

Kim and the magic lake

Kim is a good girl she has two sisters called Taylor and Selena and she has a dog and a cat and her dogs name is Mimi the cat is called Cuddles (did I mention that they are rich)and Kim is the most popular girl in school she goes to a private school called Liaise elementary high she is 15 turning 16 on June 17 ten days to go.

‘Bye mother’ Kim said ‘look it's Gemma and Jessica’ (they are Kim's best friends) So all 3 girls walked to school together. ‘Ring Ring’ the bell goes ‘time to get to first peared Math’ Kim said not so happily she doesn't like math same with Gemma but Jessica loves math ‘oh well let's get our books out of our lockers’ Gemma said they have the best lockers in school. After that the bell rang for break time so they went to meet the football players but only the cheerleaders get to sit with the football players but they are cheerleaders so they get to sit with them. Kim’s boyfriend Mason the quarterback for the team. Ring ring the bell goes time to go to class.

School is over and Kim goes home with Gemma to work on a protect for science class. So they go to Kim's house and go to Kim's room ‘Kim's Mum said ‘yes’ Kim said ‘can you go and pick up Selena from preschool’ said mum ‘year hold on’ ‘sorry I have to go and pick up Selena I'll be back soon” “ok bye” said Gemma (Kim gets in the car and goes to preschool to get Selena) “Wow Kim's room has been customized again” said Gemma “Wow”               
Mum only wanted to get Kim out of the house to surprise kim for her birthday on friday Kim's mum was going to pay everyone of kim's friends to be at her birthday.froom froom a car pulls up it is Kim with selena so they get out of the car and come inside [kim puts selena down and goes to her room to work on the project] “night Gemma see you at school tomorow” “night” said Gemma.

[the next day]

Kim goes to school to the lockers and she finds something is off about Jessica and all of kim's popularity is behind Jessica. Jessica decides to ask Gemma to join her but
Gemma said “No”
Jessica said “why wood you want to be friends with her she is so mean when you get to know her” “No she's not she is so nice you just don't know her as much about her as i do” Said Gemma “you don't need to stand up for me Gemma” said Kim “yes i do” “they are being mean to you” said Gemma “ok” said Kim [2 minutes later] Kim goes home with Gemma “are you OK?” asked Gemma ‘yes i’m fine but all my friends have been turned by Jessica and now i think i just need some space’ ‘ok’ said Gemma ‘bye’ ‘bye’ said Kim kim goes to her room to cry in her pillow ‘woof’ ‘hi mimi’ [mimi cuddled up beside Kim] Kim cried the whole night.

[the next day] [Kims birthday]

Kim gets up and goes to her bathroom but doesn’t come out for 30 minutes so mum calls ‘Kim come on or you'll be late for school!’ ‘i don’t want to go to school today’ Kim said ‘but it’s your birthday’ year but what's the point i've passed all my classes so a day off won’t hurt’ said Kim ‘ok’ said mum. Every morning Gemma comes to walk to school with Kim but Kim Isn't going school today so Gemma will have to walk by herself. “Ding dong” goes the doorbell ‘ i'll get it’ said Selena ‘hi Selena is Kim there’ ‘yes she's in her room’ said Selena ‘oh is she coming to school’ ‘i don’t think so’ ‘oh ok well bye’ ‘bye’ said Selena and Gemma.  


Kim goes outside and plays with Mimi and Kim throws the ball and Mimi gets it. But kim throw so far it went throw some vines and finds something magical a lake a magical lake so kim goes close and it speaks to her ‘hi Kim you have 3 wishes choose carefully you can’t wish for money or more wishes’ said the lake. Kim tests it out  Screenshot 2016-05-25 at 9.47.07 AM.png     
‘I wish for candy’ and a bowl of candy appeared ‘cool’ ‘ i have a great wish’ Kim said ‘i wish that i had my popularity back’ her wish came true but something happened

To be continued...   

Gemma                                 Kim                

Friday, 13 May 2016

Short story

  Narrative: Short Story Planning template              
  Name: Brook.R
Who is your main character and what are they like?

What is the setting?
Kim is a good girl she has two sisters a cat and 2 dogs she loves her dog.her dog Is called Mimi.her sisters names are Selena and Taylor. Kim is 15 years old.her birthday is 17 June and now it is the 7th of June 10 days to go.

Her house,school and the pretty lake.
What happens to the main character?
Kim gets hurts buy one of her friends

What is the conflict? with others, with themselves, or with nature?
Kim gets hurt by one of her best friends Jessica. Jessica steel’s Kim's popularity and.almost steel's Kim's best friend Gemma but does not end up stealing Gemma cause Gemma never liked Jessica in the first place.In the end Kim gos to the lake and wish-is everything back to normal but something happened’s.   

With others and Nature.
How is the conflict resolved? What will the ending be?
By Kim wishing everything back to normal on the wishing lake

Here is a link to my short story

Buddy Program

We had to teach some little kids what a habitat was

Group members: Anneke & Brook

WALT: understand about different habitats

Introduction (How will we introduce the book or use the book?)
5 minutes
We are going to show them a animal on the screen and they have to try and be it then we are going to ask them we does it live
Main part of the lesson (What questions will we ask the students? What activity will they do?)
15 minutes

We are going to show them a slide 
here is the slide we used Slide                                                                                               

[there is an update ever week and you can see the plan for the next week]
Conclusion (How will we end our lesson?)
5 minutes

They are going to do coloring


We think they listened very well and contributed well to the conversation.
The thing that surprised us is liked learning where animals live.
Next time we will organise more animals to teach them about.
We showed the learner quality of resilient by not giving up

Monday, 2 May 2016

I can describe the structure of a Short Story

Something I have learned about the structure of short stories is that they have characters,a setting and action.

After reading some short stories two things I will remember when I write my own short story are that there is always a problem and an outcome.